Many ambitious professionals are faced with the pressure of letting go of their careers, changing locations, or deferring their career goals to be in a relationship. How should one choose between a relationship or a career? Is there room for both?
Scenario 1 – Career goals that don’t make it easy to stay together
1. One person has sacrificed their career. The one with the greatest opportunity for their career should be the one chasing it, and the other partner should support their ambitions. If the career opportunities are conflicting with each other’s locality, then one partner has to prepare to sacrifice their time. It’s hard enough juggling a demanding career while trying to find time for a meaningful relationship. He/she should ensure that there is a level of engagement to develop the relationship. A relationship without time commitment will not last, and in the end it will be a waste of time.
2. If both careers have the same probability of success, then you still have to sacrifice your career or leave the relationship.
- Some people assume that they can sacrifice their career now and still accomplish it later. But, in reality, rarely is this method practical because your partner’s career has to continue developing. If you choose to sacrifice your career for your partner’s, don’t optimistically assume that you can always go after your career later. Make sure you understand how your decisions will affect your future.
Scenario 2 – Career opportunities are placed in different regions.
Decide who has a better probability of being successful in their career and the other partner should provide support.
Scenario 3 – You have a great career to pursue, but your partner doesn’t enjoy a long-distance relationship
If you possess a lofty goal, then you simply have to choose: your partner or your career? You can try convincing your partner to support you, but most of the time your partner has already made up their feelings towards your actions. Because of this, for you to try to change their mind will often be ineffective. Then it might seem like the relationship is going well in the short run, but then, over the long term, your partner’s internal feelings will surface and the relationship could easily end.
Scenario 4 – Conflicting living preference
1. This usually comes into mind when you are seriously committed to making your relationship into a marriage. Living in an area that is generally the most beneficial part of your relationship as a whole. Establish a pro/con list and choose the best situation. If there is still a dilemma, you might have to take some time out and consider what is truly important to you, it’s either the relationship or career. Friends and loved ones can also assist you in making this imperative decision.
2. Some couples do not pick their home state, rather both parties are normally neutral and go along with a state they both didn’t really like, but moved there anyway because they want to make it fair. That’s one of the worst things you can do, but it’s better if a couple can resolve to live in one of their home states because at least one person, can receive the benefit of being with family and friends.
3. When you ask your partner to relocate to hometown region, you should avoid giving subjective favorable reasoning like family and friends because it will send the wrong message that your family/friends are more important than your partner’s relationship. Stick to objective reasoning that can benefit the personal relationship and professional career growth opportunity. It’s obvious that one partner in the relationship is going to have to give up their comfort zone.
Locality decisions should be based on the following: how convenient life will be, career opportunities, affordability, and raising a family. If proximity to your family and friends are important, then negotiate that with your partner. Overall, consider a living situation that can provide the best opportunity to develop a solid, long lasting relationship.
Scenario 5 – You have dreams and goals while the other is content and prevents you from achieving your dreams
The distressing thing about this scenario is that most of the time people give up their dreams to be with someone who doesn’t have any goals or dreams. If someone loves or cares for you, they should not hold you back on your goals. Relationships should be an inspiring and uplifting experience.
Simply, get out of any relationship that is halting you from progressing in your career. You could say ‘I love them and I’m willing to give up my career to just be with them.’ BUT FOR WHAT? IS IT NOT POSSIBLE to have a relationship and pursue your career? A relationship is inspirational. Does it sound inspirational to exchange a dream for a relationship that desires you to become mediocre?
Conclusion – Happiness is very subjective. Whatever you are choosing, remember that sacrifice is a large part of any relationship. Relationships can be powerful when you are with the right partner. Do not sacrifice your career for someone who would not be willing to provide it back to you.
**I will think of more Scenarios, stay tuned….
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